


"I Can't Help Myself When It Comes To You"

by insanity_w0lf



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Confused!Viktor, Confused!Yuuri, Gay as hell, I cried writing this, Jealousy Issues, M/M, Viktor just wants love, Yuuri gets drunk, Yuuri has no idea anymore, angsty, i suck for it, rip my heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:47:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanity_w0lf/pseuds/insanity_w0lf
Summary: One stormy morning that should've gone without a hitch suddenly turns into a downward spiral of thoughts and emotions as Yuuri Katsuki comes to his senses about what he is feeling. However, his measly little antics he gets up to in order to realize how he feels about Viktor gets him into trouble with him instead. Now, Yuuri has realized that he's messed up and without Viktor being emotionally happy, he won't advance in his career as a skater without him.





	1. Good Morning, Goodbye?

It was a rather foggy, rainy morning in Japan. The gentle pitter-patter of raindrops plopping against the roof was enough to put Yuuri back to sleep. However, he knew there was no time for rest. Especially not when Viktor was already up and ready to head to the Ice Castle for practice. With a shallow breath, Yuuri slowly got himself together and slinked out of bed. After putting on his glasses, he stood and gazed at the mirror for the longest time. He really had dropped several pounds, hadn't he? Truth be told... He actually looked good, even if he was still in his pajamas. He smiled slowly and looked down at his palms, fiddling with them awkwardly. This boost of confidence, especially after having his idol around, came as quite the surprise. He felt much more proud whenever the Russian was near, yet he was still frightful of getting too close. Of course, he wanted their relationship to be strictly business; a coach and the coached. However, it's quite hard to keep it that simple. Viktor's invasion of personal space and privacy was making him a little uneasy. Yet, he did not regret capturing the attention one bit. Even though he was anxious for his next trial... He felt as if it wouldn't be too bad after facing off against Yurio.

His thoughts dissipated as he felt a sudden warmth embracing him from behind. Large hands closed over his own and he felt a nose buried into the nape of his neck. He nearly let out a squeak, "V-Viktor!" He exclaimed upon seeing the platinum-haired skater in the mirror's reflection.

"Good morning, Yuuri." He mumbled and nuzzled into the back of his shoulder blades.

He sure had an odd way of expressing good morning.

Yuuri felt as if he were being suffocated, yet did not dare ruin a 'bonding' moment with his ex-idol now coach. He had to get used to the affectionate actions after all since Vik was prone to doing them, "M-Mornin'..."

Viktor let out a low chuckle, pulling Yuuri back against him directly. He pressed his lips to the back of his skull, "There's something beautiful about an early morning rain..."

"Uhhuh..." Yuuri agreed with an exaggerated nod, doing his best to not freak out. 

Viktor chuckled and drew a hand up underneath his chin. His sapphire eyes were now staring right into the mirror as to get a look at them both, together. He let a finger trail down Yuri's neck, "You seem tense."

"Me? Tense?!" Yuuri suddenly blurted out, practically flying out of his arms.

"Proved my point." Viktor chuckled and grabbed Yuuri's hand, pulling him over, "Why are you so... afraid of me?" His tone suddenly changed. He seemed hurt.

Yuuri's eyes were now glued to the floor, "I-I... Don't know..." He fiddled with his hands yet again.

"Yuuri." Viktor let out a sigh, loosening his grip on him only to brush a strand of hair out of his eyes, "I am nothing to be afraid of."

"You..." Yuuri began but stopped himself. An odd feeling rushed over him as he felt the tips of Viktor's fingers around the base of his neck. Once again, his heart rate was exceeding the norm.

"Hm?" Viktor hummed and pressed his forehead against Yuuri's, "What are you thinking right now?" He whispered, his breath ghosting across his cheeks, "Tell me..."

"I... I..." Yuuri was at a loss for words. A million thoughts raced through his mind, one of them being; "Is he just overly friendly or is he flirting with me?" Yuuri quickly snapped up a response off the top of his head, "I'm thinking that I'd like some breakfast!" He zipped out of his arms and ran straight into the doorway, knocking his side off of it on the way out. He could hardly see, his glasses so fogged up from the Russian's closeness. He took them off and wiped them on his shirt, bolting for the kitchen. He slammed his hands down on the counter and let out a sigh, "What am I going to do about him..?" 

"About who?" Asked a feminine voice.

Yuuri turned his head and found his mother standing and staring at him in surprise. He nearly jumped at her presence, "Oh, n-no one..." He tried to change subjects, "What are you doing up so early, Mom?"

She gave a small shrug, "Figured you boys would be up early." She laughed, "And if I know you, and I do, I know you never leave home without eating breakfast, Yuuri."

"O-Oh..." He let out a sigh of relief. He was thankful he hadn't woken her up by frantically racing through the halls like a madman.

"Where's Viktor?" Mrs. Katsuki began to ask but was interrupted by a whistle. 

Viktor had made his way to their location. His tall frame that bore nothing but pants and a shirt draped over his right shoulder. He leaned against the doorway with a subtle smirk, "Right here." He announced with a wink.

Yuuri rolled his eyes. Yet, he felt as if his heart had soared into his throat at the sight of him. He muttered, "You don't have any shame, do you?"

"How can I? I'm famous." Viktor chuckled and strode further into the room, putting an arm around Yuuri, "I'm merely confident."

Yuuri grunted, his cheeks growing red as he looked up at the Russian. His gaze soon fell to the ground. It was true. He could walk around covered in mud and he'd still be full of such... 'Eros'.

As that thought swept over him, he suddenly felt his skin start to crawl. He remembered that night... He was the seductress and Viktor was his playboy... Why was he so great at playing that part? Perhaps it was simply because he felt uncomfortable trying to play the role he wasn't supposed to. After all, he had never been with a girl, thus he didn't know what either form of love felt like. He thought about how he had shamelessly thrown himself into his idol's arms... How they welcomed him as if it was natural... He felt himself tremble slightly now, realizing he had gone too far into thought. He was zapped back into reality, feeling Viktor's strong arm still firmly around his shoulders. His fingers were now cupping his forearm just as he had on stage after Yuuri had won Hot Springs on Ice, "H-Huh!?" He gasped, looking up at Viktor.

"Your mother is going to surprise us with breakfast. What do you say we go chill for a bit while it cooks?" Viktor suggested with a gentle squeeze.

"Oh... I suppose." Yuuri squeaked, his brown eyes meeting the Russian's bright sapphires. He wished he wasn't so... Awkward around his coach. After all, he truly didn't have anything to fear from the man. His charming advances came and went rather easily, which made Yuuri believe it was just his way of being friendly. He stood, still transfixed on his eyes, "V-Viktor." He stammered, regretting how he just blurted things out sometimes.

A curious gaze came about the Russian, "Yes?"

Yuuri continued to gaze up at him. He was so lost in his own thoughts. He didn't know what he was doing. He had to know what this feeling was. With a hesitant step, he wrapped his arms around his idol yet again. He did not speak, for he had no words to say. What would he even say if he was going to?

"Yuuri?" Viktor asked in a quiet whisper, "Are you feeling okay?" He refrained from the embrace, placing a palm to Yuuri's temple, "You feel rather warm."

He felt... Off. Yuri was hoping he would be welcomed into his arms once again, but as he was shooed away... He could feel his heart sinking until it hit the floor and shattered into a million pieces. He felt dizzy. What was wrong with him?

Quite frankly, he didn't really want to know the answer to that.

"Yuuri?" Viktor asked again with a concerned tone in his accented voice, "Talk to me."

Yuuri shook his head, backing away from Viktor. What was he doing? He shouldn't let... Something, whatever it was, come between them. He had competitions to win, and how was he to do that with silly distractions on his mind? He let out a brief laugh, "I'm fine. I'm going to go take a shower!" His laughs turned into giggles as he shuffled towards the exit.

"A shower? Hm. How about a bath?" Viktor practically trotted after him, placing a hand against the wooden doorframe to stop him. He let a brow raise, staring down at him.

"N-No, I... I just want to be alone." Yuuri mumbled and pushed past him, walking briskly towards the showers.

"Oh, a-alright!" Viktor called in a sing-songy voice, though Yuuri swore he picked up on a hint of sadness.

He trudged into the showers. Yuuri let out a grumble and rested his head against the wall after stripping. He hesitated at turning on the water. Usually, his showers were quick, however... He had a lot to process. He wasn't particularly in a hurry to return to Viktor, which is something he never dreamed he was capable of, nor have the option to. The cold droplets pelted against his bare skin as he lathered himself up. He felt as if he were literally washing all his cares away with every passing moment spent under the faucet. Especially after being clung on by Viktor all morning... The thought of that platinum-haired foreigner sent his head reeling. Back to square one. He laid his head back, letting out a sigh, "I'm so confused... What do you want from me exactly?" The words slipped out without effort; however, he knew he'd never be brave enough to ask his new coach the same question. Though, he felt like he should just to know the truth. He set up a new figurative page of rules, well... One in particular. 

He wouldn't dare try to initiate anything intimate with Viktor ever again.

He felt vulnerable doing something as pathetic as embracing him. This is twice now he's done it. A sick feeling dawned on him. 

Why was he so upset about Viktor brushing him off? 

No. No. No. Yuuri scolded himself, hitting his forehead off the cool tile. He was overthinking, as always. Just like when Viktor first arrived. He gave a thick gulp and rinsed himself, stepping out of the shower. He had lost track of time... A half an hour? Maybe by now the food would be ready... Yuuri snatched a towel off the rack and wrapped it around his hips, securing it firmly before grabbing his glasses and stepping completely out into the hallway. He headed directly for his room. He wouldn't dare be spotted by anyone, whether it be family or... Viktor... His cheeks felt very warm as he imagined his idol stumbling upon him mostly naked. Yuuri had been nude around him before, but that was in a hot spring... Something about the thought of the same occurrence in his room made him shudder. He quickly grabbed suitable clothes and dressed himself. Once again, he looked at the mirror. He recalled earlier that morning. A mirage played inside the reflection of the mirror. Yuuri felt his heart rate quicken, his eyes widening as he watched imaginary Viktor cupping his cheek and tilting his head off to the side, a firm, steady hand snaking up into his hair. He was so incredibly close to him. Yuuri could feel his skin prickle at the vision of it all. He was faint yet again. Overwhelmed, possibly, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't tear his eyes away, nor change his thought sequence even if he wanted to. He wanted to scream. The room suddenly felt very warm. He took a deep breath, keeping his palms over his heart. He felt it drumming rapidly. The mirage Viktor was drawing closer to him. He could almost taste his lips. He felt as if he could pass out from excitement... So much Eros...

"Yuuri!" Came Mrs. Katsuki's voice, "Breakfast is ready!!!"

Yuri squealed and covered his mouth, staring in shock at what his mind just conjured up. He let out a sigh of relief, "Oh..." He panted lightly for a moment, chasing to catch his breath. Watching the color fade from his cheeks, he rubbed the back of his neck. He felt incredibly hot, almost as if he needed to jump back in for a cold shower. Yuuri managed to settle himself down enough to head for the dining room. Two plates with portions of varied breakfast foods were sat together. Everything seemed to be in order... However, he did not see Viktor... He glanced out the window to find the rain was now a light drizzle. He wondered how long that would last, seeing billowing storm clouds heading their way.

"Where's Viktor?" Yuuri's mother asked suddenly.

"Oh... I-I don't know." Yuuri shrugged, "Maybe he went to take a bath. He suggested it earlier."

She nodded, "Well, you should go find him before his food gets cold."

"Right..." He looked down and slipped back on down the halls. He rubbed his arms awkwardly as he passed through the sauna. He peered outside to find Viktor in the spring with the rain drizzling upon him. He seemed content, his eyes closed and his head leaned back. Yuuri sighed and opened the glass door, poking his head out, "Breakfast is ready."

Viktor didn't open his eyes, not even budge. 

"Vik-" Yuuri felt the name catch in his throat. He stepped on out, walking towards him. He poked him shyly on the shoulder, "Hey..."

Now Viktor stirred, his eyes fluttering open. Truth be told, he seemed... Upset? The Russian let out a huff, "Hm?"

"Breakfast is ready." He repeated, surprised that Vik wasn't grinning nor being friendly with him. In fact, it was as if the emotions were directed at him. Yuuri suddenly felt worried. What had he done?

"Oh." Viktor slowly rose to his feet, butt-naked as usual, and climbed out of the water.

Yuuri was used to this so he wasn't surprised by that. He was more or less shocked at the way he was acting. He grabbed ahold of Viktor's wrist, only to get it yanked away. 

Shit... He's really done it now. But he supposed that's what he deserved after breaking his own rule. He should have better self-control than that... Yet, Yuuri was still beyond worried that something he did had upset Viktor. He didn't know what to say. He was only just now getting comfortable enough to talk to him like he was a normal person and not someone he idolized and worshiped as a kid. He watched him descend into the sauna and ambled after him.

After a long moment of walking and silence, however, he grew tired of it, "Viktor, are you feeling okay?" 

"Physically, I am fine." Came his remark. He was shuffling his feet much more quickly than Yuuri was.

"... Are you angry?" Yuuri half-mumbled so he wasn't positive Viktor had heard him.

Viktor slowed and mulled it over for a few fleeting seconds, "Not really, but maybe just a little bit." He began to walk swiftly again, "Just save it..."

"Is this something I did?" Yuuri suddenly blurted out word vomit. He felt a nasty taste in his mouth after he said it.

Viktor stopped in his tracks. He wheeled around and pushed Yuuri back against the wall, "It was never your fault." He snapped, giving him something between a glare and a sorrow-filled stare.

"H-H-Huh?" Yuuri stammered, gazing up at him. He wanted to say something stupid. He wanted to make Viktor happy again. He wanted his idol, coach, and friend back... He sheepishly cupped one of his cheeks, "Viktor..."

"Don't give me your affection out of pity. If your heart is not into it then just leave it be." Viktor grumbled, yet... There was his forehead pressed firmly against his once again, "I can't help myself when it comes to you."

Yuuri didn't know how to respond. He froze, completely. He felt his heart pounding against his ribs, however...

"You're so afraid... Still so afraid of me?" Viktor asked but didn't even want an answer, "If I am creeping you out, then by all means just tell me!"

Yuuri felt his throat lock up and his tongue turn to stone. He couldn't even breathe at this point. He wasn't sure how he felt... Especially since Viktor was so easily angered. He still wasn't sure what had offended him to put him in this position. He just stared blankly, wishing he could be anywhere but here.

Vik suddenly hissed in Russian tongues, "I'm getting breakfast." He gave him a teary-eyed glance, "I think I'll be eating in my room. Alone, if you don't mind." The foreigner shrugged, "After all, I let you have your alone time. I feel you should be obligated to allow me mine." He gruffed and bolted down the hall.

Yeah, he was really done for, wasn't he? Now his coach was angry at him. How was he supposed to win anything now? Instead of medals, he was now set on winning something else; Viktor's heart back.


	2. Impress Me

After eating his breakfast alone, Yuuri wandered to Viktor's room. He knocked ever so gently, "Viktor..."

Viktor seemed to hesitate as he slid the door open, "Hm?" 

It was hard to believe that the guy he used to fawn over was now very upset about whatever he did. 

"I'm ready to head out... You?" Yuuri asked, keeping small talk. He didn't want to invade.

"Sure." Viktor exhaled and reached for Yuuri's wrist, however, he moved back just as he did. He scowled slightly but didn't say anything.

"Sorry..." Yuuri sighed. He shrugged his shoulders, "C-Come on... We should get to the castle."

Viktor gave a slow nod, remaining as silent as a mouse. It gave Yuuri a guilty feeling... He shouldn't be so distraught over Viktor's sadness... He was his mentor. Nothing more.

Right?

Walking through the streets with their hoods up, they went at a rather sluggish pace. It was a heavier drizzle than earlier. The storm clouds seemed to follow them wherever they went. Yuuri let out a breath, "We can't do this, you know?"

"Do what?" Viktor asked, his eyes softening as he looked over.

"We can't be like this..." Yuuri explained, not sure of how to word it.

Viktor smiled slowly, "I'm aware." He let out a forced bout of laughter, "I don't know what made me think otherwise." After his laughs died down rather suddenly, he opened his eyes, "This is business, after all."

"Business and nothing more." Yuuri agreed, "So we shouldn't be angry at each other. It's not good for competition."

"I couldn't agree more." Viktor grinned and continued along.

"Good." Yuuri felt his smile return, however... It was bittersweet. He trailed his coach.

As they walked along, Viktor would comment on the scenery, "The rain seems to be clearing up."

"Maybe." Yuuri shrugged.

Viktor hummed before giving him a serious glance, "Yuuri, tell me something..." He turned. They were now just standing outside the skating rink.

"What is it?" Yuuri asked curiously.

"How does it feel to be around me?" Viktor responded. 

He was asking him to open up more. What was holding him back from letting him know a simple answer? Oh, wait... The answer wasn't that simple. Yuuri could go the route in which he idolized him... Or he could go about it in which they were on a level playing field. He paused, feeling as if he were in front of a crowd. He felt his nerves festering up and he opened his mouth, "Um... Well..."

Viktor took another step closer.

"I-It feels..."

Another step.

"-like..."

/Another/ step. He was now pressing on Yuuri's personal space.

'Not again.' Yuuri thought. "Like no other feeling I've ever felt before." He blurted out and looked down, afraid Viktor would take this as an opportunity to flirt.

"Ah..." Viktor grinned.

He grinned! Thankfully, that's all he did.

"Yuuri, why are you so afraid to be around me?" He sighed, running a hand through his silver hair. "Do I intimidate you?"

Yuuri felt like a cornered animal. He stumbled backwards and shook his head.

"What then?" He inquired, leering closer to Yuuri.

"I just... I'm afraid... I don't want you to regret coaching me." Yuuri mumbled and put his hands in his pockets. He looked down at his feet, refusing to dare look at him.

Viktor let out a small chuckle, "Regret coaching you?" He brought a palm to Yuuri's cheek, bringing his head up to look at him, "I could never..."

Yuuri felt a gentle ba-dump in his chest, his body suddenly relaxing at the contact. No matter how much he felt uncomfortable, he couldn't deny that the presence of Vik made him feel so... Right. 

Or wrong? Or maybe even left? Upside down? Inside out? All of the above?

As a raindrop plopped down and landed on the end of his nose, Yuuri was snapped back into the correct train of thought. He scrunched up his nose, "Good. Because I'm determined to make you proud."

"Then you best get to work, my Katsudon~" He had a bit of a purr in his accent and combed his fingers through his onyx bangs.

Yuuri felt speechless. He felt any word he said now would just make things worse. He nodded and slipped away from his coach, heading inside the rink. Viktor followed suit. They laced up their skates and headed out to the ice. Yuuri let out a breath as he went to sweep through his routine, however, he was cut off as Viktor slid out to meet him.

"I want to try something with you..." Viktor announced so matter-of-factly that Yuuri knew he was up to no good yet again.

"H-Huh!?" He stammered, feeling his hands being taken, "Wh-What are you-"

Viktor laughed, "You deserve a little bit of fun."

"Depends what you mean by... Fun..." He murmured in a nervous voice.

"Skate with me." Viktor offered, scooting across the ice with a firm hand on Yuuri's wrist.

"O-Oh..." Yuuri said, feeling himself gliding. He couldn't argue with such a set of beautiful azure gems looking back at him. He skated rather smoothly with his coach, doing rings around the edges at first until switching it up. Soon their hands separated and Viktor was gazing at him, stopping himself. The expression he wore said it all. Impress him. 

Yuuri hadn't backed down from a challenge yet, and so he did. Of course, he knew what Viktor liked from his first Eros performance. He smirked at him before showing off with his alluring sequence of steps. He could feel his gaze eyeing him like a predator to his prey as he slid around the rink.

Pork cutlet bowl was only a passing thought. He had to impress the playboy. He ran his hands down his sides and hips, a confident grin plastered across his mug. He looked over his shoulder as he moved further from Viktor, circling back around and doing a lunge, throwing his head back while doing so. As he returned to both skates, he found himself face to face with Viktor. He slowed, trying to stop himself, however, he soon slipped. He felt the gravity dragging him down. That is if it wasn't for a hand grabbing his wrist. Viktor pulled him back up. He let out a friendly chuckle, "I said impress me, not seduce me, piggy." He had a teasing grimace, "Nevertheless, you succeeded..."

Yuuri looked up at him. He chuckled awkwardly, "Oh, w-well, it was just fresh in my mind..."

Viktor circled around him after releasing his grip, "Hmm..." He seized his motion, facing him once again, "You seemed pretty sure of yourself... Then you come back to me and you're all nervous again."

"W-Well I-"

"Really, Yuuri, if you are to ever seduce a man, you must remain confident." Viktor put his hands on his hips, standing there as if he were a sex god. He wet his lip ever so slightly, glowering down at him with an animalistic gaze.

Yuuri couldn't respond. He crossed his arms and pouted slightly, turning away from him and skating off. He heard Viktor hum but didn't look back. Instead, he scooted to a stop and glanced over his shoulder, "If confidence is what you want, then how can you be so sure you want me?"

"Your body creates music, need I remind you?" Viktor called to him, gliding his way, "You're something special... Why else would I come all the way out here? Why else would I have chosen you over Yurio?"

"B-Because..."

"If you're going to be angsty still, I think you need to relax. A bad attitude leads to a bad performance, Katsudon." Viktor raised an eyebrow, "You're obviously suppressing your innermost thoughts and feelings. I can see it in the way you look at me, or lack of."

Yuuri frowned and skated away from him, "You don't know..."

"But I do." Viktor chimed, not missing a beat and skidding across the ice after him.

No matter how angry or confused he was, he welcomed Viktor's touch yet again. They soared around the ring together once more, except this time something was different. The vibes and messages he was getting from Viktor's end... He felt a hand lying upon his hip. He turned his head as the flew together, gazing deep into those dazzling blue eyes. He fought back the urge to speak, not wanting to ruin the moment. He relaxed as he gripped ever so slightly, remaining right alongside him the whole step of the way. Yuri eventually slowed down, feeling two muscular arms wrapping around his abdomen. He looked over his shoulder, getting reminded of the mirage in the mirror from earlier. He suddenly felt at ease, despite the connotation of the reflection scene his brain came up with. He allowed Viktor to hold him steady as they stood out in the middle of the ice.

"Yuuri..." Viktor sighed, "I'm sorry..." He felt his coach begin to move away and stopped him, now turning to face him.

"N-No..."

Viktor seemed surprised, "No?"

"Don't go... Please..." Yuuri pleaded, "S-Stay with me out here... Just for a little while." He sounded so needy, yet... He didn't want Viktor to leave him. The thought of him exiting the ring tugged at the heartstrings that held it together. Should anything torment it further, his heart would shatter and break.

Viktor once again pressed a thumb to Yuuri's bottom lip, tilting his head upwards ever so slightly to gaze directly down at him, "I thought you wanted to be alone?"

Yuuri did not shy away. Instead, he faced his fears and remained right where he was meant to be, "Not anymore..." His hands sprawled across the Russian's chest as he drew even closer to him.

"Interesting..." Viktor said, glancing down at the hands on his chest, "I thought we both agreed things were to be strictly business between us..."

Yuuri felt the end of his nose pressing against Viktor's. He took a deep breath, feeling his mind go fuzzy. He felt as if his judgment was clouded greatly... Almost as if he had been intoxicated. He felt the Russian advancing even closer, feeling the very edges of their lips touch before he responded, "I can't help myself... Not when it comes to you." Yuuri referenced to what Viktor had told him back home.

Viktor cupped Yuuri's cheek, "You're not as innocent as you seem..." He parted his lips in response, feeling Viktor pressing against them a little harder. The Russian mumbled against Yuuri's quivering lips, "Alluring..." He cooed, suddenly moving his mouth away. He was now standing tall yet again, nowhere near invading facial personal space, "The very embodiment of Eros!" He clasped his hands together with enthusiasm.

Yuuri let out a small whimper as he felt his mentor draw away. He clung to him, his fists grasping ahold of Vik's shirt, "W-Wait, aren't you going to..." He stopped himself, realizing how stupid he looked clutching ahold of him like this.

"What are you talking about?" Viktor asked, a small smirk as he turned away, Yuuri's hands slipping off the fabric.

"I thought..." Yuuri was confused. Maybe he really was overthinking... Viktor never really said that he loved him, did he? He messed around with the idea, but never explicitly stated it...

Get a grip on yourself, Yuuri.

"Hm?" Viktor glanced over his shoulder at him.

Yuuri let out a small sigh, "Nevermind."

After going over the performance for his next competition, the two called it a day. More like Yuuri did, as he didn't want to feel that... Attached, again. He tore the skates off his feet and hung them up. Just as he removed his hands from them, there was that feeling again. The feeling of a hand lingering on his waist. He looked down, not even wanting to know what kind of sick smirk was spread across Viktor's face. There was a light breath that rolled down the front of his neck as he felt the warmth of his presence. 

"You did well today, Yuuri..." 

Yuuri couldn't hear himself think over the heart pounding. He was so afraid... Afraid of what he may do if Viktor gets him in the same situation they were in only a half an hour ago out on the ice. He could hardly stand it. Just get it over with already.

"Yuuri..." Viktor mumbled.

A hand reached around his face and cupped the opposite cheek, turning his head to look at him. The second he saw such a lusting look in his eyes, he knew he was a goner.

"Perhaps your Eros will be much stronger once you know how it feels to be put under such a seductive spell." Viktor pressed his forehead against Yuuri's. It seemed he was having a hard time controlling himself as well.

The thought of that was what frightened him.

"Viktor..." Yuuri sighed and slipped away from him. He didn't want anything to happen just now. He still had a whole skating career to survive with this... Whatever Viktor was. He turned around and gazed at him, "I-I'm sorry..."

"You're such a confusing person." Viktor frowned and shook his head, "Perhaps we misunderstood each other just now." He turned to walk away and headed for the exit.

Just now? Haven't they always misunderstood each other?

Yuuri touched his cheek, feeling how hot he had gotten from that minor incident. He gave a thick swallow before pursuing his coach.

'What should I do?' He asked himself, unsure of what to think anymore. Having never felt love and suddenly here was a man practically giving him all the attention he's never had before... Yet, Viktor seemed odd about the idea as well. The way he reacts after Yuuri slips away, or when he himself moves away... 

He knew one thing for certain.

He had to come out and ask him eventually or else they'll be playing the cat and mouse game forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, you actually read chapter 2! Good job :) Please let me know how you feel about this so far.


	3. A Light Shining Through The Bleak Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments. Ask and you shall receive <3 Here's yet another chapter. I may or may not have actually cried... so be warned. ^^'

After walking through the humid streets of Hatsetsu, the pair finally made it back home. The rain had passed and left an undesirable heat outside, so Yuuri figured he'd go inside and stay inside. Especially since he didn't exactly feel comfortable going anywhere else with Viktor for the day. Don't get him wrong; he enjoyed his company, but... There's just so much tension in the air between them lately, caused mostly by Yuuri being an idiot and trying to figure out his feelings by throwing himself at Viktor earlier. He walked to his room, set his glasses on the nightstand, and slumped onto his bed face first. His head throbbed and he let out a grumble, "Dammit."

He was unaware that Viktor followed him into the room.

"Hm?"

Yuuri jumped up so fast he was disoriented, "You?!" He exclaimed, crawling backwards on his mattress.

Viktor leaned against the wall, "The one and only."

What did he have to do to be alone to his thoughts?

Yuuri rolled his eyes, "Don't you have anything better to do than-" 

He stopped himself as Viktor stood up straight.

He had a scowl, his brow furrowed and his usually smirking lips were now flipped upside down.

"Fine." Viktor snorted, displaying more anger than anything else. "If we're just going to get snappy at each other, maybe I should put my talents to use elsewhere."

Yuuri's jaw dropped. Before he could even speak, Vik was already out of his sights. Choked up, he called his name, "Viktor!" He fell out of his bed and blindly stumbled after him, "Viktor!" He reached the door to his room and knocked, "Please, Viktor!!"

He hated how easily his frustration lashed out for himself.

"Go away!" Viktor spat from the other side of the door.

He had it locked...

"W-Wait!" Yuuri shrieked, falling to his knees. He pounded his fists against the door. He's never felt so... Alone... Not with Viktor threatening to leave. What was he going to do? He could hear the dreaded sounds of luggage being thrown together. There was no way... He was just having a bad dream, right? Soon he would wake up and everything would be normal again...

Yuuri tried pinching himself.

It didn't work.

No matter near or far, Viktor always managed to get his heart racing. Yuuri gave a final desperate knock, "Viktor, p-please!!" Finally, he felt the door unlock. Before he could get to his feet, the door swung open and hit him across the forehead, "Argh!"

Viktor peered out. His eyes were red as if he had been sobbing. They also looked apologetic, yet he had a sneer as if he were disgusted, "I'm going out for a while." He stepped on out, revealing Makkachin on a leash, "Don't bother following me."

Yuuri gave an understanding nod, rubbing the freshly formed lump on his temple. He slowly got to his feet, extending a hand out, "W-wait..."

"No." Viktor grunted, clenching the leash harder in his hand as Makkachin went to playfully jump at Yuuri, "Don't." He turned and went to hurry down the hall with a gentle jerk at the leash to get the dog to follow.

Yuuri barely managed to snag hold of his sleeve, "Can we talk?" He gave a hard tug on the fabric, stopping him in his tracks, "Right now?"

"Afraid not," Viktor grumbled and shook him off as if he meant nothing to him. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head, "Don't you have anything better to do than follow me around?" He mocked him, gritting his teeth slightly.

Yuuri suddenly felt enraged again, "I could ask you the same thing!" He blurted out, feeling his blood boil. So he was allowed to go off and be alone but Yuuri wasn't?

Viktor's eyes widened as if he was surprised that Yuuri had snapped like that at him, "I thought everything was all fine and dandy, so when we got back here I didn't think you'd want to be a lone wolf and do your own thing." He took a step towards him, "So don't yell at me just because I-"

He stopped.

"You what?" Yuuri quickly asked, drawing towards Viktor. They were now only a foot away.

"Because I'm worried about you." His tone turned into a hush. He took a slow stride forwards, "You aren't yourself." He looked at the ground, "And quite frankly, neither am I." Makkachin tilted his head at the two.

Yuuri gave a soft sigh, "Viktor." His voice was laid back suddenly. He didn't want to argue with the one person he wanted to hang on to and never let go. There was that feeling again. The nervous, frightened one that resonated in his chest and stomach that also made him dizzy. He could hardly see as-is without his glasses. He glanced towards Viktor's room, "Can we please talk, only for a moment?"

Viktor hesitated for a moment. He gave a reluctant nod that suddenly turned into rushing out of the resort without warning. He dropped the leash, but Makkachin still bounded after him. Yuuri went to chase after him as well, however, he understood. He just watched as Viktor disappeared down the hall. He wondered if he would even come back at this point. Maybe he deserved it. Viktor was an odd creature. He certainly was... Different. Not in a good way or a bad way. Yuuri was still in shell shock from when he first arrived. He chose him. He never met Yuuri, but yet he showed up as if he had known him his whole life. He was elated, still is. When Viktor arrived, he felt as if his life was getting a purpose to it. He had never felt so amazed in his life.

And now he could be losing him.

That was hard to swallow.

Yuuri let out something that sounded like a whimper. What if he didn't return?

Then Yuuri was struck by a certain thought. He didn't know much about love, yet... What else would this feeling be? He took one last look down the hall before slipping into Viktor's room.

He sat down on his bed, his face in his palms as he broke down. He did his best to be quiet, as he didn't want anyone to see him in this weakened state. Yet, him calling after Viktor had to have caught the attention of his mother, once again coming to see what was up.

"Yuuri?" She tapped on the door. 

He grabbed the nearest sheet and threw it over himself before falling sideways on the foreigner's bed. He could hear her enter the room and he did his best to wipe and blink any tears away.

"Yuuri, I can see you." Mrs. Katsuki sighed and sat down on the mattress beside him, "What's wrong? I saw Viktor running out." She leaned closer and examined the knot on his head, "And what's this?"

Yuuri slowly sat up. She pulled the covers off his flushed face and he melted. He wrapped his arms around her, "I-I don't know how it happened..." He mumbled. Everything had happened too fast for him to process. This morning he and Viktor were so close... Still, he wanted to be closer...

And that's what chased him away.

"You can tell me." She assured him and pat his back gently, "Anything." She handed him a wet rag for the bruise.

"It's nothing... Really." Yuuri tried to tell her, applying the moist towel to his forehead. However, he wasn't convincing enough.

His mother shook her head, "If it's enough to make you cry about, then it's more than nothing."

Yuuri folded his arms in his lap, bending over to look at the floor, "I just..." He took a deep breath, sure he'd regret what slipped from his lips next, "I want to be left alone..."

Mrs. Katsuki paused for a moment before giving him a disappointed look, "The second you start shutting everyone out again is the mark of you feeling alone all over again."

Yuuri looked up at her. She was right. He was being stupid. He pushed Viktor away and now he was working on pushing his own mother away. He opened his lips to speak, but she was already gone. He rubbed his forehead, "Shit." He muttered, "I really screwed up now."

He fell backwards, staring at the ceiling. Viktor's bed was surprisingly comfortable, which made him feel at least a little better. He grabbed a pillow and buried his face into it. He felt like a schoolgirl with a crush. Perhaps that's exactly what he was. Once Viktor would return, if he returned, Yuuri knew what he had to do. He had to chalk up the nerve to ask him how he felt. There was no other way. He was now positive about how he felt, though he was scared to admit it. Maybe that's why he's been so skittish around Viktor lately. Him lashing out could've been him being in denial. He was never angry at Viktor, only about the way he was treating him. He deserved a lot better than what Yuuri could offer him, yet... Yuuri didn't want him to go anywhere else. He wanted Viktor to stay right where he was and remain there for the rest of his life.

Maybe he really was in love.

Yuuri could feel his body draining. His headache and lump on his forehead made him even more out of it. He let out an anguished grunt as he turned into his side. He tucked his body close. He couldn't help but inhale the scent of Viktor radiating from the pillow. A small, sad smile made its way across his cheeks.

I know why I need you.

That's was Yuuri's last thought before his eyelids fluttered shut.

He was woken up by something wet sliding over his face. He jolted awake, his eyes widened in terror, "Ah!"

He relaxed as he realized it was only Viktor's dog, Makkachin.

The dog was panting happily with his tail waving left and right.

Wait, Makkachin is here, which means...

Viktor stumbled in as that thought occurred. When he laid eyes on Yuuri in his bed, his expression was unreadable.

"Vik-" Yuuri began but was cut off as Viktor grabbed a suitcase.

Viktor didn't even bother to look up. He grabbed Maccachin's leash and stated flatly, "I'm going back to Russia."

And with that, Yuuri felt his world coming to an end.

Yuuri stared, unable to speak. Viktor had come back only to announce his departure. He felt unsteady as if he could lose consciousness at any second. However, he managed a gasp, "W-What?"

Viktor only then looked over at Yuuri. His poker face was hard to see through. Was he really that angry as to leave?

"You heard me..." Viktor said and whistled for Makkachin to come to him. The dog padded over and sat at his feet obediently.

Yuuri got off the bed. He got a grip on himself enough to block the way to the door, "You can't..."

"Why not?" Viktor glowered down at him, his vivid blues aflame.

"Because... I want to ask you something." Yuuri snaked a hand up to his cheek, "Please, let me explain..." 

There went Yuuri breaking his rule once again.

Viktor seemed so distant. It wasn't the same charismatic Russian he first encountered. He didn't seem affected by the touch. He gave a quiet hum, a nod to accompany it.

"I..." He began before shaking it off. The worst thing he could do would make this conversation longer than Viktor wanted it to be. He seemed rather impatient. He sighed, "Viktor..." He whispered, letting his hand fall, "How do you truthfully feel about me?"

"As of right now, I see you as a book." Viktor assessed after looking him up and down.

"A-A book?" Yuuri gushed, unsure of what he meant by that.

Viktor nodded and went to push past him, "A book with a closed cover." He held no smile and remained indifferent.

"Viktor..." Yuuri whimpered, feeling the dam behind his eyes about to burst, "Don't go..." 

He knew no matter what he did, Viktor wasn't listening at the moment. He did what he wanted, and Yuuri knew he should let him go.

Viktor suddenly slammed Yuuri back against the door. He pressed his forehead against his, possibly for the last time, "This is why I need to leave." Viktor allowed his hand to cup Yuuri's cheek, "Goodbye, Katsuki Yuuri..." He mumbled, taking a deep inhale before releasing him and grabbing the doorknob. 

Yuuri allowed him to leave, no matter how much he hated it. Maybe he'd see him at a competition soon...

Oh, how awkward that would be...

He peered out the doorway, watching Makkachin and Viktor descend down the halls. With every step they took, he could feel himself growing numb. It's one thing to feel sad, but when you can't feel a thing anymore... That's when it hurts worse.

Viktor looked over his shoulder one last time before turning the corner. Yuuri couldn't make out the expression but considered it to be just as blank.

Now alone, Yuuri made his way to his domain for the remainder of the evening. He threw himself down on the bed. If he thought he screwed up before, it couldn't compare to this. Without Viktor, his skating career was now looking bleak. He only raised his head to look out the window. So much for sunshine. The sky above was still as grey as could be, yet a small crack of sunlight shone through.

A feeling of hope came over him as he gazed at the very few rays that pierced the clouds like arrows.

Maybe he needed to be more independent. He used to fall back on Viktor for his own happiness.

Just maybe this was his time to shine, no matter how dreary the outcome of the day was.

Yuuri wiped away a couple droplets from his cheeks. He let out a sigh, "It's not meant to be, because if it was you would've stayed." He repeated this to himself until his brain went fuzzy and lips grew chapped.

"Yuuri!!" Came his mother's voice once again. Before he could answer, she was in his room, "Where did Viktor go?"

Yuuri wished he had happier news.

"Back to Russia..." He mumbled and looked away, "I'm sorry, Mom..." Yuuri apologized and hid his face in his hands, "I realized you were right just a little too late..."

Mothers are always right it seemed.

She sat down on the bed at his side, "He'll come back. I'm sure of it." Mrs. Katsuki petted his hair, "You just need some rest. I'll bring your supper up."

Though he was hopeful... It still stung.

"I don't really feel like eating... More like sleeping." Yuuri explained, turning away from her, "I'll eat a big breakfast in the morning."

Though she frowned, it seemed like she understood just how badly this incident had shook Yuuri, "Oh, okay. Well, goodnight." She gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked out of the room.

"Goodnight," Yuuri called back and waved.

No matter how much he hated the thought of a tomorrow without Viktor, he would be damned if he didn't make the most out of it.


	4. Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of Viktor's POV in this. Will definitely be using him next chapter for what I have planned. :) Enjoy and have a fun election night.

VIKTOR'S POV:

The next morning, Viktor returned to the resort. A night in a hotel nearby gave him all the time he needed to get a grip on himself. He paid no mind to Yuuri's parents, slipping past with a courteous smile. He returned his suitcase and Makkachin to his previous room. They straightened it up, however... It was almost as if they were expecting him back. The thought made him frown. He wanted his return to be a surprise. He hurried to Yuuri's room and knocked on the door. He didn't bother to speak, not wanting to give it away.

However, no answer came.

Viktor huffed and knocked once more before realizing he was being observed. Yuuri's older sister was smirking at him.

"Never thought I'd see you back here." She joked and stepped towards him, "Looking for Yuuri?"

Viktor shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Well, he's already headed to the Ice Castle." She explained with a grin, "I'm sure he'd be happy to see you."

Viktor stroked his chin for a moment. He let out a sigh and nodded, "Right." With a passing smile, he headed for the ice rink.

The thought that Viktor leaving made Yuuri want to continue on was inspiring. He was up quite early, too. Viktor couldn't help but wonder what went on in his mind after he departed. Did Yuuri get upset at all? Surely he must've. He was already on the verge of tears when he slipped out of the door. Viktor himself could barely remember how it all went down...

That's right.

He recalled pushing him up against the door. In that moment, Viktor knew what had to be done. He had to cajole himself. If he hadn't have left, he feared he could've lost himself in the moment. Despite being hopelessly in love with Yuuri, he didn't want to scare him away, nor let things go too far. He came here to mentor him, not seduce him. Viktor felt his face burning at the thought. As much as he feared himself, he needed Yuuri in his life. 

And that's why he's back.

Truth be told, Viktor was intending to flee the country; however, the more he thought about his Katsudon, the more he found it impossible. 

He quickly got himself together before entering the Ice Castle. He made sure to be quiet, wanting to surprise Yuuri.

As he entered the viewing area, he soon found that he, himself, was the one getting surprised.

Yuuri was moving his body in ways Viktor had never seen before. He couldn't look away, watching him run through Eros. Eros was the perfect word for it. The lighting was turned down dim, as to better suit the mood.

He could hear the music in his head as plain as day. It was because Yuuri's movements created it for him. His step sequence was the best it's ever been. He couldn't help but notice the expression on his face. 

Confident.

Viktor smirked slightly as he watched Yuuri nail his first jump, almost as if it was effortless. He held his breath as he watched him skate, knowing up next is the salchow he can never land.

"You've got this," Viktor whispered to himself.

Yuuri leaped into the air and touched down with ease. He did not fall or stumble.

He had finally done it.

It seemed Yuuri was having trouble containing himself after such an accomplishment. He grinned from ear to ear before moving into the final phases of this spectacular performance. He ended it just as he started; beautifully. Yuuri panted for breath and closed his eyes, smiling like an idiot.

"Maybe he doesn't need me after all," Viktor told himself. He tore his eyes away from him and turned away.

Wait. He didn't return only to walk out at a time like this.

That's not why he came back.

Viktor came back because he needed Yuuri.

He spun back around and sighed. He was probably stupid for doing this. 

Viktor got Yuuri's attention by whistling.

YUURI'S POV:

Yuuri wheeled around upon hearing a cat call, his eyes wide in shock. Who could've been watching him?

Viktor stood by the wall, grinning at him. He held a smirk as he watched him scoot over the ice towards him.

"Viktor!!" Yuuri shouted, feeling as if his heart would explode from happiness. Tears flooded his vision, but he knew where he needed to go. Once he was off the ice, he met Viktor in a strong hug, "I-I..."

"Shh, my Katsudon." Viktor teased. He had placed his hands at the small of Yuuri's back.

Yuuri went quiet, burying his nose into the Russian's shoulder. He sobbed slightly, feeling Viktor's jacket growing wet with his tears.

Viktor, too, grew rather silent. His nose was now buried into Yuuri's neck. However, he soon drew away, "Sorry about that." He apologized with a small smile.

Yuuri felt giddy yet again. He grasped ahold of Viktor's sleeves, "Don't apologize..." He mumbled and avoided his gaze, "Are you back for good?"

"I could never leave you alone." Viktor chuckled. His slender fingers were now cupped around Yuuri's cheek, "Besides, I figured you'd be hopeless without me, but you just proved me wrong."

Yuuri was forced to look up at him at his touch. He wrapped his arms around Viktor's neck, "I nailed my jumps..." He felt as if he grinned any further, his face would split in half.

"I know you did." Viktor didn't move away. Instead, he turned to playing with Yuuri's sweaty hair, "You need a shower." He chuckled and pulled his hand away, a disgusted expression on his face.

"Or a bath." Yuuri nodded, "Want to go back to the resort?" He slipped his arms away from around Viktor's neck.

"Sure thing." Viktor grinned and pat him on the head, "But before we do that..." He brought his fingers underneath Yuuri's chin, "Can we skate together?"

"Of course." Yuuri agreed eagerly, "Let's get you bladed up." He let an awkward chuckle escape.

Viktor grinned and went to go get himself a pair of skates.

Once Viktor had gotten on the ice, the two didn't leave each other's side. Yuuri did notice, however, Viktor wasn't being so clingy to him. That made him feel troubled. Viktor leaves for one night and comes back as if he had never laid a single finger on him? He seemed so... Different. Just as Yuuri began to overthink things, he was brought back to the real world by a firm hand taking his own. Viktor brought it up over his head and spun him around as if they were dancing partners. Once Yuuri was done with the twirl, Viktor captured his other hand. He gazed down at him, that desire burning inside of his blue eyes. Yuuri felt the urge to get even closer, but just as he went to slide further into his personal space, Viktor dropped his hands and skated off.

It reminded him of what had occurred yesterday when they were like this. Now Viktor was the one running away from his feelings...

If he truly had any for him.

Yuuri decided not to pursue him. He didn't want to start something again, after all. He guessed he'd just suppress his own emotions and do his best not to get Viktor fired up again. His eyes trailed the Russian as he skated around the outer edge. He seemed deep in thought about something. He wouldn't let his curiosity get the better of him. Instead, he just stood out in the center. Yuuri exhaled deeply. Guess they were back to square one. 

After withdrawing from the rink, they sat apart from each other while taking off their skates. They both wiped off the blades and hung them back up. Yuuri shivered slightly. After being on the ice for as along as he had been, the cold was getting to him. He rubbed his hands over the opposite arms to generate heat. 

"Cold?" Viktor asked.

Yuuri shrugged, "I've been out here for two hours working on my performances." He glanced in his direction.

"Well that explains a lot." Viktor chuckled slightly, seemingly amused at how hard he had worked. He stripped off his blue hoodie and handed it to Yuuri, "Here."

Yuuri caught a flicker of something in Vik's eyes. He sheepishly put on the jacket, trying to ignore the fact that Viktor was all over it. He could tell he had gotten a shower before he came to find him, "Thanks." He gave a small bob of his head, looking towards his coach.

Viktor chuckled slightly, "It's nothing." He looked towards the exit and began to walk towards it. He threw a glance over his shoulder, "Are you coming?"

Yuuri nodded yet again and ambled after him. He wasn't sure how to feel about Viktor coming back. He was glad to see him, yet... The complications of their relationship could build up again only to sever them. He was no longer only afraid of getting too close, but also saying the wrong things. As much as he dreaded the thought of another spat happening, some things had to be said.

Once they were both in Viktor's room, Yuuri let the cat that held his tongue out of the bag.

"Wait." Yuuri began, knowing he'd much rather discuss this now than before they got too far with each other. He just needed to know some things in order to fix his curiosity. He gazed up at him from his sitting position atop Viktor's mattress.

"Hm?" Viktor turned. He furrowed a brow in response.

Yuuri did not hesitate, "I know you just got back and that I'm probably an idiot for this, but..." He was rambling so fast he had to catch a breath, "I want to know something."

"Sure," Viktor answered calmly.

"If I were to open up more to you..." He began, "Would you view me as more than a book?" Yuuri interrogated him, folding his arms over his chest.

Viktor let out a chortle, "Perhaps I was a bit angered when I said that yesterday." He ruffled up Yuuri's hair after striding over to the bed, "Would you be satisfied to know that I actually view you as something a lot more than a book?" He joked and poked the end of his nose.

Huh, so maybe he was more important to Viktor than he was told. He gave a happy nod, slightly flustered by the actions of him, "Okay, can I say something else?" Yuuri asked in an awkward manner.

"I suppose," Viktor said with a small shrug. "Go ahead."

"I want to know why you really left last night," Yuuri said with caution. He wasn't sure bringing it up would help the situation, yet... He was curious.

Viktor seemed guarded. He suddenly frowned.

Yuuri prepared for the worst.

"I left because I don't want to get too close to you." Viktor admitted with a shake of his head, "I don't really want to discuss this."

Yuuri reached out. He had to stop himself, but couldn't. His fingers seized the cuff of the sleeve. He kept a firm hold on it, moving closer to him, "I want to tell you something." He mumbled.

"Yuuri..." His voice was no longer protected. Yuuri didn't have to get closer as Viktor closed the gap between them. He held him close in a gentle hug.

Yuuri felt himself relax. He shamelessly buried his face in his chest, "I... I need you with me." He rested his palms across Viktor's shoulder blades, "So, please, don't you leave me ever again." He felt his voice crack.

Viktor let out a breath, "And I need you." He titled Yuuri's chin upwards and looked down at him, "And that's why I came back." Viktor mumbled, his hands entangling in Yuuri's hair.

"Thank you." He whispered, pressing his lips against Viktor's ear. He felt his insides churn as he realized his own made up set up law was once again being broken. Yet, Yuuri couldn't care less at this stage. He felt comfortable right where he was, especially upon looking up and finding Viktor drawing closer. Was this finally it? He felt his heart do a loop. He gasped in surprise as soft, tender lips barely brushed against his before moving to his cheek instead at the last second. He shuddered as he felt a light peck on the cheek. He nearly pushed Viktor away, but at the same time he wanted to yank him closer. That thought was what frightened him.

Viktor had a way of bringing out both Eros and Agape in Yuuri. There was no other name for the silly butterflies in his stomach other than love. He understood Viktor was his mentor, but... He felt like so much more at this stage. Truthfully, the thought of a relationship, especially one with another man, scared him. He was never very much of a bachelor, which explained his lacking in the romance department. As for the Eros part... Yuuri got flustered at the very idea of getting beyond intimate with Viktor. Especially now since here they were alone together. Of course, the tingly feelings that accompanied it didn't frighten him much anymore. Yuuri was used to skating Eros now in a seductive manner aimed at him. Not only that, but he had a sudden remembrance of the mirror incident. He shivered slightly at the thought.

In fact, it seemed like they had both became the story of the Hot Springs on Ice all over again with how they keep going back and forth.

"Yuuri?" Viktor's endearing tone called upon him.

As Yuuri looked up, he wanted to drown in his eyes. He opened his mouth, "I'm sorry." He apologized with an offered smile.

"I forgive you." He nodded, parting his lips as if he were going to elaborate on that. Viktor froze. He seemed at a loss for words at the moment. Perhaps Yuuri had hurt his feelings? Without warning, Viktor brushed a few strands of hair away and gave the faintest of kisses to his forehead. Before he could be questioned, he explained himself, "I'm sorry, myself." He brushed Yuuri's hair out of the way, "I shouldn't have been so heartless yesterday. That's one hell of a knot on your head." He spoke as if he wanted to change the subject, which Yuuri granted happily.

At least for now.

"I forgive you." Yuuri mimicked him with a grin. 

It felt rather natural. For once, he didn't cringe or move away. He didn't even feel the need to shove him away. He welcomed his advances.

He just wasn't quite comfortable enough for an actual sign of affection, at least not on his end.

Well, at least past a hug. 

Perhaps he just needed to start at square one and move at his own pace. He only hoped Viktor would continue on at the same rate. Of course, he figured his coach would never push anything on him. Whenever he opened up, Viktor met him right in the middle, where he was comfortable.

Perhaps that's why Yuuri felt as if he was falling for him.

Yuuri thought about Yuuko. He had used to fawn over her all the time. She was what brought Viktor into his life, and now here he was. Now, instead of being a silly little boy with a crush on her, he felt gratitude towards her. If she had never came into his life, Viktor wouldn't be in Japan. Viktor wouldn't be here now...

"Yuuri?" Viktor's accented tones wrecked his train of thought.

Yuuri jumped a little, startled at the thought that he had been zoned out for too long, "Y-Yes?" He stammered.

"For a second I thought I lost you." Viktor chuckled and poked the end of his nose, "Remember why we came back here?"

"Oh, right..." Yuuri let out an awkward bout of laughter, "What are your thoughts after I get a shower?"

"Hm... We could go out and eat somewhere." Viktor gave a suggestion, "My treat since I was a jerk yesterday."

Yuuri gave a happy nod, surprised that Viktor was okay with him being alone, "Sounds perfect." He grabbed Viktor's clean robe without thinking about it, "I'll be back in a few."

Viktor flashed a smile, calling after him, "Don't drown." 

"I'll try not to!" Yuuri called and headed for the showers. He was thankful things were reverting back to normalcy.

Or at least the normal Yuuri was used to.


	5. A Date With Disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to dedicate this chapter to one of my best friends, Britney. She has pushed me to continue this, though I had no plans on quitting, and asked me to get it finished as soon as I could. I love her and I'm so thankful to have such a persistent and wonderful friend. You never fail to make me laugh, and I try my best to do the same for you (Though my puns suck, JUST LIKE WHAT YUURI DOES TO VIKTOR'S DICK- okay anyways...) <3 Hope this makes your day a little better, baka/weeb, and sorry for keeping you waiting for so long~

Yuuri's POV:

After taking a rather brief shower when compared to the one he had the other day, he stumbled back into Viktor's bedroom. He looked left and right, unable to find him. However, as he pressed further into Viktor's quarters, he soon found two long arms wrapped around his shoulders, "H-Huh?"

Viktor was grinning, "I have something special in mind." Was all he mumbled before slipping away, "You'll love it."

"O-Okay..." He stammered in response. Yuuri wasn't sure what to expect from this 'something special' seeing as it was coming from Viktor, but he guessed that was the surprise factor of it all. Turning around to face him, Yuuri then discovered he was all dressed up in a formal manner.

"As much as I love you wearing my robe, I don't think that's a decent enough for where I'm taking you." Viktor purred, stepping past him to leash up Makkachin. "I'm taking Makkachin out for a second before we leave." He pointed to the doorway, "Go make yourself snazzy."

Yet again that flicker of something in his sapphire eyes made its self-known.

"God," Yuuri thought to himself. There was something about the way he looked so... Possessive? That's what he decided he would call it. He gave a small nod and slipped into his room. Snazzy? Why would he need to be snazzy? He tore through his closet trying to find the nicest clothes he could find. Viktor must've been taking him to a formal restaurant. That's the only logical explanation he could come up with. He found a white button up and grabbed his baby blue tie to accompany it. He tossed Viktor's robe off and dressed himself. With a passing glance at the mirror in his room, he smiled like an idiot, "I think this is suitable attire." He enlightened himself. Just as he went out to greet the world, he bumped into Viktor's chest and let out the smallest of gasps.

"'Ello there." Viktor drawled in his Russian accent, "What is that?" He suddenly looked baffled and pointed to Yuuri's chest.

"My tie?" Yuuri stammered out, wondering why he seemed so disappointed. 

"Give it here. I refuse to let you be embarrassed by this again." He snagged hold of his tie and slipped it off his neck after loosening the knot, "I'll give you one of mine."

"Huh..?" Yuuri huffed, completely and utterly confused. What was so embarrassing about his tie? Yet, he decided to follow Viktor and Makkachin to his room. He watched him let the poodle off leash and walk over to his dresser. 

"Here we go..." Viktor pulled out a nice solid red tie and drew nearer to Yuuri. "Allow me." He simply stated, sliding it around his neck. 

He watched Viktor's slender fingers work the necktie into a knot. As he finished, Yuuri found himself reaching to seize his wrist, "Viktor..."

Viktor didn't acknowledge him, ending with a quick adjustment to tighten it around his throat and folding down the collar. He retreated from his close proximity immediately, "We should leave so I can go show you off to the world."

As Viktor's face began to leave his near-sighted vision, Yuuri felt his heart crack along with his voice, "W-Wait!" He pleaded and snagged the front of Viktor's shirt. He parted his lips to speak, "I want-"

Viktor interrupted him, "You don't want anything with me..." He swirled a finger in Yuuri's hair, "That would be your first mistake." He moved to push his hands away.

"I could care less if it was my last," Yuuri whispered and pressed his nose into his chest, capturing the Russian in his arms. He meant to tell him something very important, but his lips were having a hard time moving from the fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

Viktor let out an uneasy sigh before giving him a gentle pat on top of his head, "You're impossible." He let out a laugh.

"Am I really that bad to work with?" Yuuri questioned.

"It's not that," Viktor assured him with a smile, "You're a very diligent worker; however, you are a little on the clingy side." 

Yuuri blinked, "H-Huh- Oh..." He let out a breath as he realized how stupid he probably looked hanging onto Viktor the way he was just now. He unhanded him and moved away, flustered.

"Not that it's a bad thing, katsudon~" Viktor teased.

Yuuri heard the sound of Viktor's expensive shoes stepping towards him. He went to turn around but soon felt arms around him, "V-Vik-"

"Shh." He hushed him with a firm squeeze.

Yuuri settled back into him. He closed his eyes and brought his hands to cover Viktor's, "How do you feel right now?" He questioned the Russian with a gentle gaze.

"Like I could stay here forever." Viktor muttered only to then pull his arms away and look at his watch, "But we really must go."

Yuuri let out a disappointed huff but nevertheless nodded, "Right." He looked down at his feet.

"Don't look so sad." Viktor placed a hand on his shoulder, "After all, you get to go on a date with me."

Yuuri's eyes widened. He turned a deep shade of crimson and stuttered, "H-h-huh?!"

"Only joking. Don't look so surprised." He responded with a hefty laugh. He turned the doorknob, "Ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Yuuri gave a roll of his eyes and strolled out the door before him.

Viktor's POV:

After alerting the driver to drop them off about a block away from where he intended to take Yuuri, Viktor got out of the taxi. He smiled as Yuuri joined him on the sidewalk, "We have a little bit of a walk." He explained with a look on down the street.

"I was hoping so." Yuuri laughed, "When you had us get off next to a masseuse I got a little concerned."

Viktor tilted his head until he noticed where they were, "Oh, ha!" Viktor let out a contented sigh, "I wouldn't let you starve, besides I don't think you deserve a massage as of right now." He gave a small wink and nudged him to urge him to follow, "This way."

Yuuri paraded alongside him. Viktor took note of the seemingly permanent smile etched across his lips. He, himself, couldn't help but grin in response. As they slipped on past several businesses, the smile began to grow. He seemed so excited to know where they were headed... Viktor let out a soft chortle.

"What?" Yuuri asked as if he were alarmed.

"Nothing." Viktor assured him, "I like that happy confidence you have going on."

Yuuri raised an eyebrow.

"You haven't stopped smiling since I came back it seems." Viktor announced with a shrug, "And truth be told, I like seeing you that way."

Yuuri's face lit up, "I think it'd be rude not to be so ecstatic with you around." He crossed his arms, "After all, I don't want you to slip away from me again."

Viktor suddenly stopped, putting a hand on Yuuri's chest to stop him as well. However, he did not remove his palm, "I wouldn't dare." Viktor promised with a glint in his blue eyes.

Yuuri went speechless as he seemed to just drown in his gaze. He cleared his throat after a long pause, "Good."

"You're cute." Viktor poked fun at him and withdrew his hand, "So lost in my eyes that you've failed to notice where we are." He raised an eyebrow.

Yuuri's POV:

Yuuri lifted his chin to read the sign of where Viktor had brought him. His eyes widened as he read the sign of the most expensive bar and restaurant here in this part of Japan. His mouth fell agape, "V-Viktor-"

"Do not scold me. I'm a wealthy man." Viktor assured him, "After all, I feel like I owe it to you after being so dramatic recently."

"But-" Yuuri began.

"Shh." Viktor silenced him with a finger pressed to his lips, "Let me spoil you for a night." He gave a wink in his direction.

Yuuri went to protest but decided he shouldn't. After all, if Viktor wanted to treat him, he shouldn't stop him. He should be thankful that Viktor was willing to be so nice to him. He gave a slow nod, "Alright..."

Viktor gave him a smug grin and opened the door, "Ladies first." He joked.

"Psssssh." Yuuri rolled his eyes, "Such a gentleman." He huffed, feeling his cheeks grow hot.

The second they entered the restaurant, all eyes were on them. The chatter suddenly died. Yuuri felt anxious and took a step back. Viktor's hands grabbed ahold of his waist, "Why are you so scared, piggy?" He whispered into his ear.

"Er..." Yuuri took a deep breath. He felt settled at the feeling of Viktor right behind him. He grinned to himself.

"Ah! Viktor Nikiforov, your table is right this way!" The waitress chirped and practically sprinted towards a booth with a lovely window view. Yuuri followed her with Viktor tailing him.

"Thank you." Viktor beamed at the rather attractive waitress. He took a seat and Yuuri chose to sit across from him.

The girl let out a shy giggle, "What would you two gentlemen like to drink?"

Viktor turned his head, "Have you ever had a 'real' drink?"

Yuuri was caught off guard. He jumped in alarm, "H-Huh?"

"Alcohol," Viktor stated simply. He leaned over the table a little, "I'm buying, remember?"

"O-oh, w-well, I-" Yuuri stumbled over his own words. He let out a soft sigh, "O-Okay. It's only fair that since you ate my favorite food, what's your preferred drink?"

Viktor let out a happy laugh, "It's a bit strong, but I'm sure you can handle it if you can handle a quad salchow." He joked and sat back against his seat. He ordered their drinks with a grin in the woman's direction. She practically let out a squeak and scurried off. Viktor chuckled and began skimming over the menu, "What will it be, piggy?"

"Oh, well..." Yuuri bit his lip. He looked over the menu before making a decision.

Moments later, the pretty blonde waitress returned. She sat down two tall glasses of whatever it was Viktor liked to drink. Yuuri looked down as he took notice of how... interested the girl seemed in Viktor. Of course, Viktor was more famous than he was and that would get the attention of anyone interested in figure skating. He understood that much.

Still, Yuuri didn't like it.

He watched the blonde place her hand upon Viktor's shoulder and let his hands ball up into fists. Would Viktor even notice at this point if he started getting angrier? He gave a thick swallow and acted as if he was more interested in the menu before him.

"Yuuri!" Viktor called upon him, "Have you decided yet?"

Yuuri looked up, doing his best to push his envy away. He gave a nod.

After the food was ordered, the woman slipped from their sights yet again. "Thank god," Yuuri told himself. He felt guilty getting envious of a girl who had only just met Viktor, but he couldn't help himself. He's worked so hard and mulled over the idea of a possibility of being involved with Viktor romantically that he couldn't afford to lose him now. He was growing over protective. He knew that much.

"Yuuri." Viktor snapped Yuuri back into his senses. He nervously looked at Viktor across the table from him. He had picked up his glass and extended his arm out, "Cheers?"

Yuuri let out an awkward chuckle and grasped ahold of his glass. He rose it to clink against his coach's.

"To love and friendship," Viktor said in a proud tone as their glasses hit each other. He kept his eyes on Yuuri, never taking them off of him as he took a sip.

Yuuri felt as if he wouldn't be able to swallow. He sheepishly managed a small drink of the alcohol. It was definitely an acquired taste. He was surprised at the burn it left in his throat. It wasn't bad. In fact, Yuuri immediately went back for a second drink. He hasn't had any alcohol in a while and this seemed to hit the spot at the moment.

"Ah, you must like the fire as much as I do." Viktor raised an eyebrow, tapping the sides of his glass.

Yuuri nodded slowly, "It's not bad."

"You don't drink much, do you?" He asked, leaning over the table slightly.

"Nope..." He avoided his eyes. He didn't want him to see the hurt left behind from moments ago.

Viktor's eyes widened, "Huh, I suppose I should've expected that." He took another drink, "You are the innocent type, after all."

Yuuri felt somewhat offended by his words. Was he not good at portraying himself as guilty? He squinted his eyes and took a rather large swig of the alcohol before him. He felt like he needed to prove something to Viktor. He was perfectly capable of being equally as non-innocent as anyone else. That thought was what drove him to keep his newfound mentality.

Viktor raised an eyebrow as if he was suspicious of something, but said nothing. As their food arrived, the waitress gave Viktor a poke on the shoulder. He hummed in response, "Hm?"

"Can I have your autograph, Viktor?" The woman asked with a hopeful smile. She handed him a slip of paper to which he grabbed and scribbled his name. When she took it back, she seemed disappointed.

Viktor gave her a questioning look, "Something wrong?"

"Oh, not at all. I was just hoping you'd give me your number as well." 

That's when Yuuri went off the deep end.

He took a large sip of his drink and squinted at them. He slammed the glass down and proceeded to get up. He didn't even look back as he headed for the bathroom. The bathrooms weren't occupied which made it easier for him to let off some steam. He entered a stall and sat down, his hands shaking from outrage. It's like she was purposely trying to get under Yuuri's skin. He closed his eyes, feeling a wide range of emotions strike him at once. He let his guard down and began to sob. He slammed his fist against the wall of the stall a couple times before burying his face in his palms. He has been in this position once before, but not out of anger. He choked down a couple sobs and attempted to pull himself together. Talk about a rude awakening... He was unaware of how much he already called Viktor his. 

What was he thinking? 

Yuuri managed to compose himself just enough to leave the restroom without any significant evidence that he had broken down. He strode confidently back to their booth, taking his seat across from Viktor yet again. He did not look him in the eye, for the sake of his own dwindling sanity. He instead took his glass into his hand and took a hefty drink. He sat it back down gently as if to apologize to it for his harsh behavior earlier. Viktor, however, he would not apologize for. Though it wasn't Viktor's fault, he couldn't help but grow petty over it. He looked at their food upon the table, thankful he wouldn't have to see that woman any more times than he had to.

"How was the bathroom?" Viktor asked with his chin resting in his hands, his elbows on the table.

"Rather empty," Yuuri said distantly. He picked up his chopsticks and began digging in without another word. 

"Hm." Viktor huffed to himself, "Yuuri, are you okay?"

"I'm perfect." Yuuri rolled his eyes, forcing himself to keep a straight face rather than a pout. He returned to his beverage and took another drink.

Viktor had some sort of gleam in his eyes. He sat back slightly, "You know, Yuuri, if you drink that down too quickly you'll-"

Yuuri flashed a glare in his direction. He smirked softly, "You're doubting me?"

"Not at all." Viktor crossed his arms and kept a smirk plastered on his face that meant the exact opposite of what he just suggested.

Yuuri forced a determined smile, though he felt as if he were being belittled. He took another drink.

Perhaps it wasn't the smartest decision.

By the end of dinner, Yuuri was definitely tipsy. He wasn't that strong when it came to alcoholic beverages anyways seeing as he had never drank something as powerful as this before. After Viktor had bought Yuuri a couple more rounds, it was all downhill from there.

Yuuri felt as if he was moving in slow motion as he returned from the bathroom yet again. He nearly stumbled over another table before slamming his hands down on theirs. 

Viktor jumped in alarm, "Yuuri?!"

Yuuri laughed and slipped into the booth on Viktor's side, "Hey..." He cooed in a seductive tone.

Viktor's POV:

Viktor grew uneasy as the obviously drunk Yuuri sat down next to him. He felt a hand caressing his thigh, "Y-Yuuri, what are you-"

His speech was slurred, "Viktor... I want-" He messed with his tie, scooting closer until he was nearly straddling him. He seemed to have lost his train of thought, but that didn't matter now that he was pushing Viktor back against the seat, "C'mere..."

Viktor's eyes widened. He felt his breath hitch as Yuuri continued to close in on him. He pressed a hand to his chest to keep him back, "I-I didn't know you turned into..." He noted the lust in his eyes and shivered slightly. Yuuri was never like this... Sure, he may have been pretty sexy when he did his Eros performance, but... Now, this was not just an act. This was serious. Real life. This was happening right here, right now. Viktor knew what he needed to do. He sighed and slammed money down on the table to pay for their food and drinks. He had to practically push himself past his apprentice. However, he no more than got out of their seating arrangement when Yuuri placed a pair of firm hands on his hips and stood up behind him.

"Viktor..." He purred and laid his head against Viktor's shoulder blades.

Viktor felt awkward. He couldn't deny all the blood rushing to his face at the feel of affection from him. He looked over his shoulder at the shorter man behind him. He shook himself free before he let out a soft sigh and grasped ahold of his wrist, "Yuuri, you need to control yourself." He gave him a firm yank to emphasize and try to jerk some sense into him.

He obviously wasn't listening as Viktor found Yuuri flying into his arms.

"V-Viktor..." Yuuri breathed out, a hand running down his stomach and nearing his groin.

Thankfully, he was still sober and had no hesitation when it came to stalling him. He had slacked off on his end in order to be prepared should an incident such as this one would happen. Looks like he made the right decision. He grabbed his arm and narrowed his eyes, "We're leaving." He grunted and turned to find a couple at a nearby table eyeing them with disgust. He cleared his throat and drug his tipsy companion out of there.

He kept an arm around Yuuri's shoulders as they walked down the street to wait on a Taxi. He only had to deal with Yuuri's clumsy feet for the moment. He smiled slightly. Seeing such an innocent person suddenly turn into a sexual predator over a couple drinks was amusing. Viktor was just glad he didn't have intentions on going and getting drunk himself. Viktor was known as being the feel-good, sexual drunk himself. After all the drinking he partook in while in Russia over the years, he had became used to alcohol, unlike Yuuri whom would rather dine on Katsudon than go out and get drunk. He understood his prime objective would be to get Yuuri home without any mishaps.

After a quick ride to the Onsen, Viktor tipped the driver and assisted Yuuri out of the cab. He gave a gentle stroke to his onyx hair. "Are you still..?" Was all he got out before he felt a firm hand caressing his butt. He gasped slightly, hoping it wouldn't be heard. However, as a sly and smug grimace crossed Yuuri's drunken lips, he knew he had failed.

"How about we take this to your room?" Yuuri's lips were pressed against his ear as he whispered.

Viktor trembled slightly in response, "We can go to my room, but we aren't taking 'this' there." He caught him by the wrist, "Come on."

Yuuri staggered after him. Thankfully, they slipped past the front desk without questions being asked. Viktor let out a sigh of relief as he neared his bedroom. He opened the door and walked his protégé inside. He turned to shut the door behind him but suddenly felt a hand shove him face first into the door. It clicked shut and Viktor glanced over his shoulder at a very predatory looking Yuuri.

"I want you..." He half-whimpered, pressing his entire body against Viktor's backside in a strong hug.

Viktor managed to work himself free from Yuuri's embrace. He pushed him back, perhaps a bit more forceful than he should've, "I'm not taking advantage of you, Yuuri."

Yuuri nearly fell over but regained balance by some miracle. He simply stared at Viktor, his lustful eyes changing into something less... "Yuuri?" Viktor called upon him, seeing his mood suddenly switch.

Yuuri's POV:

Lowered inhibitions had first made him into some sort of Eros-crazed freak and now... He felt as if an arrow had pierced his heart. He sank to his knees as tears burst from the dams in his eyes. He let out a loud cry, "Dammit, Viktor, I love you!!"

Viktor remained at bay, "W-What?" He asked, but sounded unconvinced, "No. You're drunk." He swallowed, "You don't know what you're saying."

Yuuri had now collapsed to the floor completely, laying on his side and flailing his arms and legs around like a child throwing a tantrum, "I just want to be with you! No one else!" He slurred and let out an ugly choking sound, "That woman that flirted with you can't have the one thing good in my life!"

His mentor rushed to his aid and put a hand on his shoulder. Yuuri's limbs seized to flip around. He felt a hand cup his cheek and his face was turned to look upon him.

"Yuuri..." Viktor's tone was suddenly gentle. He felt a gentle hand upon his forehead, "You've had too much to drink... Please, can I put you to bed?" He glanced towards the door.

"Can I..." Yuuri began, choking down another sob, "-stay here with you?" He slowly sat up and reached a hand to clasp ahold of Viktor's wrist, "Please..."

Viktor let a gentle smile creep across his features, "Sure thing... Just no funny business." He poked him on the nose and helped him to his feet.

"O-Okay..." Yuuri nodded curtly and wrapped his arms around Viktor. He was dazed and delirious, but the feel of being close to the Russian made him feel safe. He felt guilty for trying to frisk him earlier, but he knew Viktor couldn't stay mad at him. In fact, Viktor probably blamed himself for allowing Yuuri to get smashed.

Before he knew it, Viktor was tugging him towards his bed. He very carefully sat down on the side of it. He gazed up at Viktor, who gave him a pat on the head, "Stay here, I'm going to go change." He stepped away only to carry over more comfortable looking clothes, "Feel free to borrow any of my clothes if you'd rather sleep in that." He placed them on Yuuri's lap, "I'll be back in a moment."

Yuuri felt tears continuing to trickle down his flushed cheeks, "Promise?" He squeaked out.

"Obeshchayu." Viktor chimed in his Russian accent with a large nod. He slipped out of Yuuri's sights.

Yuuri got to work removing the formal attire from his body. As shaky and clumsy as his movements were, he finally managed to strip down to his boxers. He sheepishly slipped one of Viktor's shirts on over his head and let out a contented sigh as his oddly alluring scent crawled its way up his nose. He fell backwards onto Viktor's bed and curled up only to find his mentor had returned. He was in his usual casual wear when it came to the resort; his green robe. He soon joined Yuuri on the mattress, crawling over him, "Hey, piggy. How are you feeling?"

Yuuri couldn't seem to control himself. He let out a soft whimper, "I... Love you..."

"Shh..." Viktor hushed him with a finger pressed to his lips, "As much as I love to hear it, tell me when you're sober and I'll believe it..." He asked of him, brushing his hair out of his face.

Yuuri gave a grumble of protest but he didn't really have room to argue when he felt Viktor plop down beside him. Immediately, he let himself snuggle up to the Russian. He felt protected whenever he was around him. Especially now since he had no idea what was going on. He stuck his nose into Viktor's chest, "Love you..."

Viktor chuckled and patted the top of his head, "Do you want me to sing to you to make you fall asleep easier, my Katsudon?"

Yuuri nodded quickly in response.

Viktor took a deep breath. Yuuri could hear his heartbeat and feel it as well once he put a hand over the man's chest. Viktor began to hum a melody, but it soon turned into foreign phrases. Yuuri quickly assumed it was Russian. Viktor was singing a Russian lullaby to him. He let out a happy grumble and wrapped his arms around Viktor's muscular body and let his eyes flutter shut. He felt gentle lips press against his temple and smiled as he dozed off. Something about his voice was so endearing that it put him right to sleep.


	6. Confession

Viktor's POV:

The next morning, Viktor awoke to find Yuuri was still asleep. They had changed positions in the night and right now he had Yuuri's head buried into the nape of his neck. He let out a small chuckle and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek. He shifted slightly and gazed down at the man before him. He put a hand to his chest and felt his own heartbeat thumping against his chest. If only Yuuri knew how it skipped a beat sometimes when they were together. 

He recalled the events of last night over and over again. Especially how Yuuri got angry over their waitress's flirtations aimed at him. He felt guilty all of a sudden. He couldn't tell if Yuuri was jealous that easily or if the alcohol was making him feisty. If it was the alcohol, then what? Everything Yuuri said once they got home last night was invalid. He knew Yuuri was growing fond of him, but a full-scale love confession was only something Viktor could dream of at this point. He loved Yuuri. He wanted to see him excel at what he did. He wanted to teach Yuuri the meaning of love and give it to him. He's been pouring his heart into the man the second he arrived in Japan. It's been a few months by now... Still, Yuuri seemed afraid of him, or perhaps afraid of the idea of love entirely. He knew he was getting better, but surely Yuuri was still cautious. 

Viktor couldn't blame him after what he said yesterday. He admitted falling for him would be the worst decision in the long run. Viktor has had a history with women, but he remained unattached. He could never commit to someone... Then men came into the picture. To him, being in love with a man came much more natural to him. Those relationships lasted longer than those he shared with women, but still, he never could find the right person. When he watched Yuuri skate his "Stay Close To Me" performance he was blown away. He felt inspiration that he hadn't felt in years. He didn't know that a flight out here to Hatsetsu would result in him getting infatuated right off the bat. He couldn't help it. Yuuri was cute and when he wasn't a cute piggy, he was a spicy Katsudon. Viktor couldn't help but laugh at his own comparison, but it faded away as he mulled over the idea of Yuuri and him together. He didn't want to end up breaking his heart. He was nervous. There was always a certain type of trait that pushed those he loved away. This was why he grew distant with Yuuri that first morning. Viktor felt like crap by just leaving him hanging onto him like that without even the slightest interest, but he was anxious. His intent was never to seduce Yuuri, nor make him fall. Course, no matter how 'great' Viktor was, he couldn't control everything. If Yuuri truly was getting overly fond of him in return, he hoped and prayed that this time would be different. After feeling his heart jump at the sound of Yuuri's drunken confession last night, he knew he was in love, but the very thought of shattering Yuuri's heart was what held him back.

Viktor returned from his thoughts. He licked his lips slightly and gave Yuuri a small nudge, "Yuuri..." He purred, trying to wake him.

Yuuri's POV:

Yuuri stirred slightly in response. He opened his eyes to find a messy-haired Viktor staring down at him. He smiled slowly, but then his eyes shot wide open. He backed up off the bed and stood in the middle of the room in horror. What had they done last night? Oh no...

It all rained down on him at once. Yuuri remembered the alcohol, the waitress, his jealousy, even. However; he couldn't remember anything past his crying fit in the restroom. He felt sick to his stomach. He felt strange all of a sudden, almost as if he wished he could be anywhere but here. He stared at Viktor, feeling his lip quiver as he attempted to make words, "D-did w-we?"

Viktor suddenly let out a loud burst of laughter. He managed to compose himself, "No, we didn't."

"Then... Why am I in your bed?" Yuuri felt as if his face was on fire.

"Well, you requested to stay with me while you were drunk last night." Viktor explained, "Simple as that."

Yuuri stared blankly for a moment. He tried diving into the depths of his brain but found nothing but miles of fog. He rubbed his forehead, "Guess that explains why I don't remember anything..."

"Yeah..." Vik let out an uneasy laugh.

Yuuri awkwardly fiddled with his hands, "I've never been smashed... I thought I could handle it..."

"Well, the only thing you handled was-" Viktor went quiet.

"Did I... Do something?" Yuuri asked, a guilty feeling washing over him. He nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

Viktor gazed up at him, "No." He gave a slow, charming smile, "It wasn't anything I couldn't control."

Yuuri wasn't sure what to make of that, but he didn't want to question it. He let out a soft sigh, "Sorry for how I acted last night." He stepped towards the bedside and sat back down on it.

"Oh, no need to apologize." Viktor chuckled and yawned, running a hand through his hair. He was laying on his side, an elbow pressed into the mattress with his head resting on his hand, "I should be the one apologizing."

"For what?" Yuuri asked.

"For letting that waitress flirt with me, and also for allowing you to get drunk." Viktor sighed, "I should've known better."

Yuuri shook his head, "No, neither of that is your fault." He promised him with a small beam in his direction.

"Yuuri," Viktor whispered and brought a hand up along his jawline. He hesitated before shifting closer, "I mean it."

"H-huh?" Was all Yuuri managed to stammer out before he felt his cheeks go aflame yet again.

"I'm sorry... I didn't think it'd bother you so much." Viktor seemed to change directions almost immediately as he leaned closer, however, it turned into a hug rather than what Yuuri was expecting. Viktor's forehead was pressed against his shoulder. He couldn't help himself anymore. Last night opened his eyes all the way. He let his hands rest flat against his coach's back.

"Viktor, there's been something I've been meaning to tell you..." He whispered directly into his ear as if he was afraid Viktor wouldn't hear him.

Viktor immediately flew out of his personal space. He sat back with his eyes wide open, "And... That would be?"

Yuuri could feel his fragile heart racing at the speed of light. He was used to getting nervous before a competition with thousands of people watching... So why does being in front of Viktor preparing to unleash his feelings make him even more anxious than that? 

He recalled the memory of Viktor getting irritated with him that first morning when tensions were high, "If your heart is not into it then just leave it be."

That was what got him thinking. He started realizing Viktor was doing these things out of love. Yuuri really started to understand that he needed to get his head set straight...

Or not, for that matter.

After all, Viktor left and came back since then. What if his feelings changed and he reconsidered Yuuri as a love interest? The pressure was on now. Coming back into reality, Yuuri gazed up at him, "I... I know I've been a really confusing person lately, and I don't blame you if you run away after I say this... But..." He found it extremely difficult to keep on track but knew if he didn't come out and explicitly say it that they'd spend the rest of their lives playing cat and mouse. He didn't care if it got in the way of his career. He couldn't help it anymore. The need and desire to love Viktor and to get love in return were too much of a great idea. "And I know you said I wouldn't want anything with you yesterday, but I can't care less..." He grasped ahold of his coach's hand, "Viktor..." He took a deep breath before he exhaled his name. He let his lungs swell yet again before he uttered the next phrase he never thought he'd say, "I can't help it..." He whispered, seeing the questioning look on Viktor's face, "I think I'm falling for you..."

Viktor's POV:

Yuuri? Falling for him? Huh, guess he wasn't kidding last night. Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. He reached a hand out and cupped his cheek, staring down into his handsome brown eyes, "How perfect..." He mumbled and let their foreheads meet. He closed his eyes just enjoying the moment here with him. A sudden tenderness came over him as he whispered, "I never intended to come here and find love... But, with you, I can't keep myself away." He admitted, feeling the tension roll off his shoulders. It was almost as if this were a dream. Could it be? Viktor hoped not. He let his eyelids open, feeling Yuuri's soft lips on his all of a sudden. He was taken aback, but welcomed it. His fingers curled ever so slightly around Yuuri's sides as to ensure himself that, yes, this was actually happening, "Yuuri..." He mumbled against his lips after they remained locked together for a few seconds.

Yuuri seemed to have lost himself. He suddenly leaned back, his eyes wide in terror, "S-Sorry, I-I don't know what I was thinking, I mean, I just now told you how I was feeling and-"

Viktor smirked to himself. He seized the stammering dork by the shoulders firmly and kissed him with so much force that he was forced down onto the mattress. Viktor moved over him, straddling his hips. He broke away, though he didn't really want to, but had to in order to tease him, "You talk too much, Katsudon..."

Yuuri seemed extremely bashful. He covered his face with his hands and squeaked, "S-Sorry." He apologized, though there was no need to. 

Viktor laid his head on Yuuri's chest and listened to his heartbeat. It was racing rather quickly, which didn't come as a surprise to him. He let out a soft sigh, "Do you realize how fortunate you are?"

"All the time." Yuuri let out a small, yet sincere laugh. 

Viktor felt his hand weaving through his hair and settled down, "I mean, not everyone can get their idol to fall in love with them..." He lifted his chin to gaze into his eyes, "I consider you special."

Yuuri laughed, "Why me, though?"

"Something about the way you are..." Viktor thought over it for a moment before letting out a breath, "I don't know... It's hard to explain." He added with a grin, "When you know why you like someone, it's just a crush, but when you don't know..." He paused for a moment, "That's love."

Yuuri sat up slightly, causing Viktor to look at him. He let out a small chortle and rolled his eyes, "I should've told you I was getting attached to you a long time ago."

Viktor beamed at him, "You didn't have to." He assured him, "I took notice, though you were as confusing as a crossword puzzle the past couple days." He shifted his weight back onto his knees and looked down upon him, "Why didn't you?"

Yuuri's POV:

Yuuri felt his eyes widen at the question. He coyly looked away from him, "Well..."

Viktor's gentle hand turned his face back to look up at him, "You don't have to play shy with me." He said in a considerate, soft tone.

Yuuri couldn't help but grin like a Cheshire Cat. He didn't take his eyes off of him, "Being the innocent type..." He felt his cheeks burn up, "I had to be sure of my feelings before I acted upon them."

"You really never had a lover?" Viktor asked as if he were appalled, "Not even a girl?"

Yuuri shook his head.

"That's hard to believe... You're such a beautiful person." Viktor cupped his cheek, "You never had a crush?"

Yuuri's brain immediately went to Yuuko. He felt sad, but not as sad as he usually was whenever he thought about her. He stared up at Viktor. They were alike in several ways, especially in the way they both cared for him. Yuuri let out a small sigh, "Yuuko." He wrapped his arms around Viktor and pulled him close, "I left for Detroit and then... Well, she fell in love with Takeshi while I was away all those years..." Yuuri could feel Vik grow tense at the knowledge of this. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead on his shoulder, "Is something wrong?" He asked quietly.

"Not really... I just..." Viktor went quiet suddenly, which was a first. He usually had all sorts of things to say. Viktor gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and backed off the bed. 

Yuuri raised an eyebrow as he saw him acting distant. He watched him walk over to the window and draw back the blinds, "Viktor?"

Viktor looked over his shoulder, "It's a lovely morning..." He suddenly let out a gasp, "I know! You've been working hard lately. How about on the way to the Ice Castle we take it easy and go view the cherry blossoms?"

Yuuri sat up, his hands flopping over onto the nightstand. He grabbed ahold of his glasses and put them on, "I suppose." He smiled, though he was curious as to why he was acting so... Odd... Did he get upset because Yuuri had a crush on Yuuko? He didn't feel obligated nor interested in following his affections towards her anymore, especially since she was happy with her husband. After all, he was much more inclined to lean towards Viktor over her any day now that he knew his affections were returned. Viktor had changed him. Yuuri would have never dreamed of making the first move on someone... Yet, when he kissed Viktor, he just let it happen. He didn't plan it at all, nor even had any idea how to go about it. It felt warm and welcoming like whenever he returned home from a crisp, chilly day. Home... That's what he felt like whenever he was at Viktor's side. He didn't feel judged or the need to get anxious over anything. Viktor was his shield. His knight in shining armor to protect him from anything awful that would try to knock him down.

And he was thankful for that.

Yuuri yawned slightly. He got up off the mattress and stretched before walking over and wrapping his arms around Viktor's stomach, "Thank you."

"Hm?" Viktor hummed interrogatively.

"For teaching me..." Yuuri couldn't stop smiling, "Both on the ice and off." His voice dropped into a low mumble, "You taught me what love is."

Viktor suddenly turned in his arms to face him, "No, I taught you agape." His tone was suddenly dark. He hardly had any time to react at all before he got a glance of what was coming. He felt needy, yet firm lips against his. The touch was quite rough. How long had Viktor wanted to do this? He couldn't help but let a gasp escape against his lips. He soon felt hands touching the small of his back, making his skin crawl in best of ways. He felt as if all the butterflies in his stomach had suddenly burst free. Just as it had started, Yuuri was drug back into reality as Viktor pulled away from him but only by a small margin. "V-Viktor..." He whispered, feeling dazed. He wasn't necessarily ready to be torn so abruptly away from him. By the look in his eyes, Viktor seemed like he could've taken it further.

Damn... 

Viktor touched his own lips with his fingers. His eyes did not move from Yuuri even for a second, almost as if he was being observed. Whatever it was, Yuuri admittedly liked the way he was being looked at right now. Viktor simply let a subtle smirk dance on his lips.

He yet again became incapable of speech. He felt his cheeks grow red hot as if he could burst into a beautiful conflagration at any moment. His glasses were foggy as a result of what had just occurred, "Wh-What was that?"

"You may think you know love, but..." Viktor drew his fingers up under his chin, "You should know there are two sides of love by now, Yuuri..."

Yuuri suddenly became alarmed. He did like being kissed like... that. That was the 'eros' side in response to the 'agape' he gave Viktor earlier. He felt as if his tongue was swelling up. He couldn't speak, nor hardly breathe as he stared up at the sex bomb before him.

"Is something the matter?" Viktor asked, leering closer. The devilish expression on his face was almost too much to bare.

"N-N-No..." Yuuri stammered. Okay, maybe he had 'agape' captured, but the 'eros'... He needed some work on. Yes, he was fine with being sexy in his performance but... His shyness was in the way when it came to real life. 

"Hm, I think I'll have fun teaching you eros, and not by means of pork cutlets." He began chortling, almost in a sinister way.

Yuuri felt offended due to how unknowing he was about these sorts of things. He squinted defiantly at Viktor snickering to himself. He grabbed him by the front of his robe, attempting his best to try to put on a more dominant approach, "What's so funny?" He asked in a demanding voice. He gained some sort of satisfaction as he heard Viktor's back hit the wall behind them. The expression Viktor wore was pretty comical as well. He let himself smirk at the sight of him being caught off guard.

However, Viktor seemed to keep his cool no matter what was thrown at him. Of course, he must be experienced with this sort of thing.

For some reason, that thought made Yuuri furious.

"You can be greedy, much more greedy." Viktor chuckled and poked him on the nose, "You still seem a bit red-faced." He added as Yuuri felt all the blood rush to his cheeks. Viktor grasped ahold of his wrists and smiled, "You still have a lot to learn, however, we should get going." He looked out the window yet again as he left his personal space and wandered towards his dresser, "So allow me to teach you some other time." Viktor tossed a wink over his shoulder. "Perhaps when we return home I can show you what eros means to me."

Yuuri crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, but what Viktor said surprised him. He nearly let out a squeak. But Viktor was right. Perhaps what he learns from his coach could also help improve his actual Eros performance. After all, what's a better image? A pork cutlet bowl, or the 'hottest bachelor in town'? 

What was he saying?

The thought of Viktor teaching him sexual love made him feel...

Oh my.

It suddenly dawned on him exactly what Viktor meant by that. He looked over at the silvery haired Russian. He felt nervous. Of course, it was probably just a simple flirt to catch him off guard, but...

What if it wasn't?

Yuuri suddenly got the feeling when Viktor meant 'greedy' that he's seen that side of him before. He thought long and hard, pausing at the door, "Viktor."

"What?" He asked.

Yuuri turned to him, "What exactly happened last night between when I returned from the bathroom and when I fell asleep?"

"Hm..." Viktor set up a challenge, "Okay, if you skate with as much passion as you did the day I came back, then I'll tell you when we get back." He grinned at him, "Deal?"

Yuuri, though he wanted to know, nodded. He could do just that. He'd make his coach proud, "Deal." He gave him a smug, determined smile, "I'm going to go get ready."

"Okay." Viktor called and began to let the robe slide off of his shoulders, his eyes watching Yuuri, "Come back when you're ready to head out."

Yuuri rolled his eyes. Did everything he does have to do be so... weird? Yet, his cheeks were on fire and as much as he hated it, he couldn't help but smile and skip into his room. He grabbed clothes to skate in and a jacket. It would be breezy out today, after all. Once he was dressed, he stumbled back to Viktor's room. He grinned as he walked in to find him petting Maccachin on the head, "I'm ready when you are."

Viktor looked up at him with a smile, "Well, let's get going then." He gave the brown poodle a kiss on the forehead, "Don't wreck the house." He told him before approaching Yuuri. He caught him off guard with a kiss on the cheek. When Yuuri went to talk, he was dumbfounded, but Viktor just shushed him, "What? I can't go smooching a pooch without kissing the piggy too!"

Yuuri wanted to melt to the floor, but pulled himself together, "R-Right..." He looked down. He couldn't help it. No matter how clever he thought of ways to surprise Viktor, he never failed to get a surprise in return. He swallowed thickly before following Viktor down the hall. He put his hands in his pockets as he trod alongside him, "So, u-um... About earlier..."

"What about it?" Viktor asked, confused.

Yuuri was unsure how to word it, not to mention his brain has stopped functioning and his tongue kept getting in the way of him getting out what he was trying to ask, "Well... Does this..." He looked away from him, "I mean..."

"Are you trying to ask me to be your boyfriend?" Viktor snorted, "I thought you said you didn't want that."

Yuuri closed his mouth and put his hood up over his bangs, "Hmph." He pouted.

"How childish." Viktor teased, "But the answer is yes. How could I say no?" He laughed.

Yuuri's eyes widened, but he only balled up even more in attempt to hide inside his coat, "Okay..." He breathed out in relief, "Then it's settled..."

Viktor put an arm around him in response and gave a hearty laugh, seemingly overcome with sudden joy.

Even though he had never been in one before, Yuuri could see this was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I had so much fun writing this and I managed to post it the day of Yuuri's birthday (In Japan, at least) Thank you all for your continued support and please, please, please leave a comment/critique on this because that only encourages me to write and update sooner. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a comment and/or feedback. :)


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